Coping on Really Bad Days

Ideas for surviving the days when everything feels heavy, hopeless, or confusing after abuse.

Getting Through This Moment: Gentle Coping Tools

Starting Where You Are

If you are reading this while feeling overwhelmed, frozen, or scattered, you are not alone. You do not have to fix everything right now. You only have to get through this moment, one small step at a time.

The ideas below are not rules. They are options you can try, keep, change, or ignore, depending on what feels even a little bit possible for you.

Grounding With Your Senses

Grounding is about gently bringing your attention back to the present when your body or mind feels pulled into memories, fear, or numbness. You are not doing it “wrong” if you still feel upset; even a small shift can matter.

A Simple 5-Senses Check-In

Move slowly. Pause between each step if you need.

• Notice 5 things you can see. Shapes, colors, light, shadows, objects near you.
• Notice 4 things you can touch. The chair under you, your clothing, the floor, a pillow, your own hands.
• Notice 3 things you can hear. A fan, traffic, voices, your breath.
• Notice 2 things you can smell. Soap, your drink, the room, even “no smell.”
• Notice 1 thing you can taste. A sip of water, tea, or just the taste in your mouth.

If counting each sense feels like too much, you can simply look around the room and say, “I am here. I can see a __, a __, a __.”

Temperature and Touch

• Hold something cool or warm in your hands, like a mug or a chilled cloth.
• Press your feet gently into the floor and notice the contact.
• Wrap yourself in a blanket or hug a pillow, and quietly name: “This is soft, this is warm, this is mine.”

Using Movement to Re-Anchor

Movement can help your body remember that it is in the present.

• Slowly press your hands together, then release, a few times.
• Roll your shoulders, circle your wrists or ankles, or gently stretch your neck.
• Stand up and sit down a couple of times, if that feels safe.
• Walk to another room and back, noticing each step.

Breathing That Doesn’t Have to Be Perfect

Breathing exercises can help soothe your nervous system, but they do not need to be deep or dramatic. You are simply giving your body a bit more space.

Soft Counted Breathing

Try this for a few rounds, stopping any time you feel lightheaded or uncomfortable:

• Breathe in through your nose as you count slowly: 1–2–3–4.
• Pause gently for a count of 1.
• Breathe out through your mouth as you count: 1–2–3–4–5.
• Rest a moment, then repeat if it feels okay.

Hand-on-Heart Breathing

• Place one hand on your chest, and if it feels okay, one hand on your stomach.
• Notice the rise and fall under your hands as you breathe naturally.
• Silently say to yourself with each exhale: “I’m breathing out.”

Simple Actions for Overwhelming Moments

When everything feels too big, tiny, doable actions can help you feel a little more in control of your day.

One-Minute Tasks

Choose just one, if any:

• Drink a small glass of water or another gentle drink.
• Open a window or adjust the lighting in the room.
• Wash your hands or splash cool water on your face.
• Send a simple message to someone you trust, like “Thinking of you.”
• Change one small thing in your space: straighten a pillow, move a chair, pick up one item from the floor.

Creating a Small Sense of Comfort

• Put on clothing that feels softer or more comfortable.
• Grab a comforting object: a blanket, stuffed animal, smooth stone, or anything that feels grounding.
• Listen to a song or sound that feels familiar or steady, even if it doesn’t fully cheer you up.
• Sit or lie in the position that feels most supported to your body right now.

Shrinking the Day Into Smaller Chunks

When the whole day feels impossible, it can help to gently shrink your focus. You do not have to manage “today” all at once. You can move through it in tiny sections.

Breaking the Day Into Time Pockets

Instead of thinking about 24 hours, you might try:

• The next 5 minutes. “What is one thing that might help me get through just the next five minutes?”
• The next 15–30 minutes. “What would be the least draining way to spend this short block of time?”
• Until the next natural break. “I’ll focus only until my next meal, a TV episode, or when the sun sets.”

One Task, Then Rest

If tasks feel heavy, it is okay to do just one small thing and then rest.

• Pick one task: reply to one message, wash one dish, take a shower, or brush your teeth.
• After the task, give yourself permission to pause: lie down, sit quietly, scroll gently, or stare out the window.
• Remind yourself: “Doing one thing is still doing something.”

Gentle Planning Instead of Pressure

You might experiment with a very simple structure, like:

• Morning: One body-care action (shower, change clothes, or eat something small).
• Afternoon: One practical action (email, one chore, or a short walk if it feels safe).
• Evening: One soothing action (music, show, warm drink, journaling a few lines).

It is completely okay if you do less than this. These are options, not requirements.

Micro-Reminders: Nothing Has to Be Decided Today

Big decisions can feel impossible when you are in survival mode. It can be enough just to get through today without forcing yourself into choices you are not ready to make.

Thoughts You Can Gently Repeat

• “I do not have to decide anything big right now.”
• “Today, my only job is to keep going in small ways.”
• “I can come back to this decision another day.”
• “It’s okay if I don’t know what to do yet.”
• “Resting and pausing are allowed.”

Writing It Down So You Can Set It Aside

• Jot big worries or decisions on paper or in a note on your phone.
• Tell yourself: “It’s written down. I don’t have to hold it in my head right now.”
• Place the note somewhere safe and, if possible, shift your focus back to the present moment.

When Reaching Out Might Help

You deserve support. If you feel able, connecting with others can help you carry what you are holding, even for a moment.

Reaching Out to Trusted People in Your Life

Consider contacting someone who feels at least somewhat safe, respectful, or steady for you.

• Send a brief message like, “I’m having a hard time today. Can we talk sometime?”
• Ask for something specific if you can: “Can you just listen?” or “Can you distract me for a few minutes?”
• It is okay to share only as much as you want. You are allowed to keep some details private.

Crisis Services and Professional Support

If your distress feels very intense, or you are worried about your ability to stay safe, it may help to reach out to crisis services or a trained professional in your area.

• Crisis phone lines, text lines, or online chats may offer immediate emotional support.
• Local mental health professionals, clinics, or support organizations may provide ongoing help.
• If you have a provider you already see, you might consider letting them know you are struggling more than usual.

You know your situation best. Reaching out is always your choice, and you can start with whatever feels like the smallest, most manageable step.

Honoring How Hard This Is

Coping is not about being strong all the time or pretending you are okay. It is about finding tiny ways to care for yourself in the middle of something that is genuinely hard.

If all you can do right now is read these words, breathe once, and maybe move your body slightly, that already matters. You are doing the best you can with what you have in this moment, and that is enough for right now.